INTRODUCTION

What if Love Isn’t What You Think It Is?

What if love has never been just one thing?

What if the way we understand lov…

INTRODUCTION

What if Love Isn’t What You Think It Is?

What if love has never been just one thing?

What if the way we understand love today – the story of one perfect partner, soul-deep connection, lifelong devotion – is just one chapter in a much longer, more complex book? A beautiful chapter, yes. But not the whole story.

Across time and culture, love has worn many faces. In ancient Greece, the most honored form of love wasn’t romantic but philia – the profound bond of loyalty and trust between equals. In feudal Japan, emotional depth bloomed in the relationship between a samurai and his protégé, seen as vital to a warrior’s spirit. In the 19th century, elite women wrote to each other with longing and tenderness, shared beds and dreams, lived intertwined lives – and no one questioned it.

None of these were fringe stories. They were culture, custom, accepted ways of loving.

And yet, somewhere along the way – through colonization, religious reform, industrial shifts, and social engineering – we began to frame love in narrower terms. Romantic love. Marital love. Heteronormative love. True love as a destination reached through a specific path.

That path has brought joy to millions. It deserves honor and celebration. But it is not – and has never been – the only way love lives.

This book is an invitation to widen the lens. To honor the love stories that didn’t make it into the mainstream myths. To explore how societies have nurtured love through mentorship, spiritual devotion, chosen families, sisterhoods, polygamous arrangements, and partnerships that defy easy categories.

We’re not here to dismantle the idea of one great love. We’re here to place it among its siblings – not above them.

Because when we understand how love has shaped (and been shaped by) history, politics, spirituality, and survival, we don’t weaken it. We deepen it. We set it free to mean more, not less.

Who Is This Book For?

• If you’re a young free-thinker, questioning the rules of love you’ve inherited, this book will show you the lineage of those questions – you’re not alone, and you’re not new.
• If you’re grounded in tradition, this book offers more than a challenge. It offers context, continuity, and the chance to see your values in conversation with others – across cultures and time.

This isn’t a rejection of love as you know it. It’s a reclamation of love as it’s always been: varied, vast, vital.

Welcome to a history of love you were never taught – but have always felt calling.

Let’s begin.